God's Plan and HD

In church last Sunday the message was about suffering and why it is necessary as a part of God's plan. Wasn't that just the perfect topic to discuss days after I get my results? Many people want to blame God when terrible things happen in their life and they wonder why he would let such things happen to good people. To me, it seems, that if you believe in God enough to blame him for the bad that happens, shouldn't you have enough faith in him to know that there is a bigger picture here that you can't see? According to my pastor, and well, the Bible, suffering is an important part of all of our lives.
As it says in Romans:5, "And not only that, but we also glory in tribulations, knowing that tribulation produces perseverance; and perseverance, character; and character, hope. Now hope does not disappoint, because the love of God has been poured out in our hearts by the Holy Spirit who was given to us."
The thing is, we don't know what life is going to bring our way, but I know that the troubles we face can do us good if we let it. Our troubles can make us better people. We could be nicer, more giving, happy people with a strong relationship with God. The key is to face your suffering with a joyful heart and trust in God. Of course this is easier said than done, but when I consider the alternative of being full of hate, anger, sadness, and fear, I realize the choice is clear.
Now I understand that, for me, this process of facing my suffering is a lot easier because my REAL suffering is still a ways off. I still have time to live my life. But even when faced with death, I feel as though (after a grieving period of course) I would get my soul right with God and use the time I have left to be happy and be with loved ones. Worry, stress, anxiety, fear, anger. These are bad emotions to feel all the time. It doesn't do anyone good. Unfortunately we can't change some things that happen to us. But we can change our attitude about it. I feel sad and like a weight is on me. But I know that with time it will get easier. I have hope that a treatment will be discovered by the time I need it, but even if there isn't what can I do? I am going to live my life joyfully until the end, and then I shall take my place in Heaven if He'll let me. :)
Loss is a painful and terrible thing. I feel for those who have to worry about losing me. It is a whole different thing to lose a loved one than it is to die. Especially if your death is quick and unexpected (though mine probably won't be). I have no idea if I am going to be able to cope with the death of a loved one. But as I strengthen myself and my relationship with God, I think that maybe I will be okay. Just maybe.
When (or IF) this disease starts affecting me, I am not going to be happy about it at all. But I will have lived a great life, I will have no regrets, and I will be surrounded by loved ones. What else could I ask for? If God does have a plan in letting me inherit the HD gene, I believe that it is to prepare me for what I am really supposed to do in this life. What better way to get a person to be all they can be? :) This way I can touch the lives of others and help anyone who needs it.
I don't have it all figured out yet, and I am sure to face many dark days ahead, but as it says in Psalm 30:5 "For His anger is but for a moment, His favor is for life; Weeping may endure for a night, But joy comes in the morning."